A few things today helped reinforce my resolve to change my lifestyle for the better.....First, I have been gardening today.....*sigh* I know, right???? It is hard work!!!!! We went to a local gardener, and dug up plants from his yard (when I say "we", I mean my wonderful husband did the work while I watched), then it was off to the garden store for mulch, and various sundries needed for gardening (like a  little shovel), then back home to get them in the ground before they died.....I was sweating like a pig!!!! What a workout THAT was!!!! I am a little burnt (not too bad), but my yard is on its way to looking way better....I didn't stop till I was done planting!!!! I got it ALL done!!! Yay, me :) My husband dug up the ground for lilacs, (very big job) and I did the front beds....it is not much to look at right now, but with attention, and patience, it will become something splendid.....It reminded me of my own transformation that I am trying to make....when you start trying to make changes, it is REALLY HARD!!!! AND at first it doesn't seem to look that great, and there is no real sign of any changes.....then....all of the sudden......people start making comments about how great you look (but even then, you won't realize how much your hard work has paid off).....it will still take even more time after that before you look in the mirror and see something AMAZING!!!! YOU!!!! You will really see yourself, maybe for the first time, and you will see that all that hard work and dedication was worth it!!! Second thing that reminded me of how much I want to get out of plus size clothing, is taking a bath.....do you ever feel like you just don't fit right in the bath??? I love to lay around in the bath, it is much more relaxing  shower, but I want to feel small in the bath, and I don't......that is one way I will know I reached my goal :)   I have been having an amazing day, I am now just one day short of making through a week on the cleanse.....If I can stay on this very strict and narrow diet, then you can stick to yours, too :) I know there are people who avoid something that is good for them because they don't like it.....maybe it is a Calcium supplement that you don't like the way it tastes, or maybe it is vegetables and they don't appeal to you, or maybe you always add sugar or honey, or some kind of sweetener because you don't like the way stuff tastes without it......well, I want to lovingly tell you to SUCK IT UP!!!! ha ha....you may not like the good things that you have to do, but they are GOOD FOR YOU, and if I can drink those nasty shakes (which are actually starting to taste.....good) then you can take that step towards better health, too :) I encouraged everyone the other day to try to make one good change towards a better you.....how are you doing on that??? Are you ready to take the next step???? This time, pick something that you don't WANT to do, and make that much needed change....go on....you can do it!! I have gone 6 days eating nothing but "shakes" and fruits and veggies....I am one day away from being 1 week in, and only having 2 more weeks to go... Josh grilled Pineapple tonight, and it was YUMMY!!!  A great thing for dessert instead of the usual empty calorie desserts out there :) Hope your making plans to worship tomorrow, I know that is where I will be.....HAVE A GREAT SUNDAY!!!!!!

Well, if I was gonna cheat.....it would be today.......It was 6 months ago today that I said goodbye to my 2 1/2 month old daughter, Kyndall Reagan.....She was born with a heart defect and a liver defect, we did everything we could to help her, but God chose to take her home....I have not even considered questioning God in this matter, because He knows the end from the beginning, and He has what is best for His children in mind with every decision He makes......so I KNOW that God has a plan for my life, and part of that was teaching me what it is like to let go of my own child, not having her in my life is a difficult, and sometimes a daily struggle, sometimes I wonder if it was my own poor health that was part of the reason she had to live the short difficult life that she did....My husband and I have talked about having another baby, but I have decided that before we do, I want to be out of the plus-size clothes....and as healthy as I can possible be.....Kyndall is another of the reasons for my journey FINALLY beginning....I know that there is NO CHALLENGE to great for me to overcome, because I have been through something that others have said they could never go through....I am still dealing with the loss, I know it will take at least a year to be done with all the "firsts" that come after such a tragedy, I say tragedy, but I believe when all is said and done, it will be a TRIUMPH.....I know that God did not bring her into my life to destroy me, but to give me the strength that I never knew I had...during her life and certainly during her death, I had to pull strength from out of my depths, I know that it is a strength that God has put inside of me, and I also know it is a strength that He puts into each of us, just some people have never had to find it.....well, I HAD to find it, and now that I have....I want to put it to the best use I can....I want to change the person I am, into the person I want to be....I want to be that energetic, playful, fun mom.....the one who always has the energy needed to play with my kids, and take them amazing places.....I want to have my health, I want to hold my grandchildren and my great-grandchildren (if the Lord tarries).....I would like to have just one more child.....and I KNOW I have the strength, through Christ, to reach all those goals.....I know that I can't dwell on the things in life I cannot change, but I can FOCUS my energy and strength into the things I know I should change.....the road is sometimes hard when climbing to the top of a mountain, but the view from the top just can't be beat!!!! Thought I should also let you know, that I haven't cheated today....I went to my Nanny's and brought my own food, (including the nasty shake)....and she was kind enough to have fresh Strawberries, and Grapes for dessert..... :) .....I love her SO MUCH!!!! Did some shopping, LOTS of walking, and had a great time with my kids and hubby......I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!!

Time for my first confession....I did NOT do the jumping jacks/lunges/sit-ups last night :( But I felt so bad about it, especially after reading my friend, Heathers comment on Facebook that she did more than my little 20....so I did them this morning....which made my dog go crazy, he didn't know what was going on...ha ha...so, today has been a little harder, truthfully, I am getting a little tired of having to prepare EVERYTHING I eat....it is rough, if I want to go run some errands, I can't just pick up something while I am out, I have to think ahead and eat before I leave....I am really glad that this SUPER STRICT cleanse is only 3 weeks long....but I don't intend to revert to my old habits, if I am going to be sacrificing 3 weeks to clean out my body, I am going to do more work to keep it clean :) I did also discover something interesting about beets (sorry if this is too graphic)....apparently, they KEEP that purple coloring through out the digestive system....now I have no way of knowing what goes on in the middle, but I am guessing it stays purple in there, too...ha ha....I know, I know....I shouldn't have gone there, but it might be a great way to get your kids to eat beets.....ok, enough about that....I am so thrilled and honored by the response that I have gotten from my friends and their friends that are reading my blog......It is awesome to get the support and encouragement from each of you, as I am able to give you some encouragement, too :) I started this blog on Sunday night, and starting Monday morning, my wonderful husband has left me a note of encouragement on the computer, every day.... he also brought me home flowers on Monday morning to let me know how proud he is of me, but I am SUPER proud of him too, he is the best husband ever and he gives me so much support....these notes of encouragement that he leaves me every morning are these wonderfully inspirational notes with new Bible verses each day.....I really truthfully haven't even taken a single nibble of anything that I am not allowed to eat.....and some of it is because of my wonderful hubby's unfailing faith in me that has kept me going, and not even taking a little taste of what I can't have.....I feel like I can't fail, because I would be letting every one of you down, and I have been torturing myself for 4 days now, and I can't give up cause all that work will be wasted :) I tried to roast green beans today, and they were DELISH......I have pretty much decided that any veggie tastes good roasted :) It gives it a good texture and and really wonderful, comfort food kind of flavor.....I think I will by a Jicama (pronounced Hi-ca-ma), it is some kind of root veggie, from Mexico, I am guessing :) Other than that, nothing really new in the food category,  still just fruits and veggies with yucky "shakes"....but the "shakes" really weren't bad, I didn't make any yucky faces while drinking them today :)

So, what does everyone have planned for the weekend, and how are you going to work healthy choices into your plans???  I am going to see my Nanny (my dad's mom) tomorrow....she is 87 and still going strong....I love her so much, and she is a great example of how being active and taking care of yourself will help you stay healthy for years to come....She didn't always take care of herself, when I was born, her and my Grandad smoked, but they quit for me, so every year when I celebrate my birthday, my Nanny also celebrates how many years it has been since she quit smoking.....so, if smoking is something you want to quit, then do it for someone you love, do it so that you can be there for them as long as you possibly can.....When I am 87 I want to have as full a life as she has, I know people who are 60 who don't get around or are as healthy as my Nanny :)

Well, I hope you all have a wonderful night, and a GREAT Friday :)

It is official.....I have made it through half the week!!! I know it doesn't sound like much, but each day gets a little easier, and today was a good day :) I went to my 2 hours of water aerobics, and I also got 2 laps of swimming in (I know 2 laps doesn't sound like a lot, but to me it is) I am also going to attempt to do 20 jumping jacks, 20 lunges, and 20 sit ups before I go to bed tonight....(again, I know that sounds like it would be so easy).....Bob on the Biggest Loser says that if you do 5 sets of each every day, that you will certainly lose weight....so I am going to try to do one set, and then when that gets easier, I will push myself to do 2....and go from there till I reach 5, and then maybe I will even go past that, and start doing 5 sets more than once a day....I really believe that for me it is about making small, reachable goals....I am certainly NOT going to try to do 5 sets of 20 of each of those things (by the way, that is 100 jumping jacks, lunges and push ups) Not gonna happen.....YET.....I will just do what I can and continue to take small steps.....
     On to food :) The shakes are getting better, or I am just figuring out how to make them taste better with different fruits, but they are STILL not something I would crave...ha ha....Also, remember the beets that I mentioned yesterday......well.....I tried them today....and......honestly, they weren't bad *shrug* pretty messy though....my fingers were pink for half a day.....I cooked them the same way I cooked the asparagus, drizzle olive oil, sprinkle salt and broil for 5 minutes or so, on each side.....then I got to thinking that beets are kinda like potatoes or carrots, and that might not be enough to cook them, so I put the oven on 350 and cooked them till they were tender.....and I have to say, they certainly AREN'T french fries, but not horrible (I know, right....such a glowing review makes you want to go right out and by some)  I still have 2 more beets that came in the bunch....haven't figured out whether I will try something new or roast them again....I know most people don't really like to eat veggies, and most of my friends will only eat corn, and maybe green beans.....it is really sad, cause veggies are really good, and they really do most of the cancer fighting for your body....I think you can roast most of the more common veggies, and roasting is a great way to pull out some of the sweetness in the veggie....anyway, think about it :) Before I sign off for the night, I want to make a small little comment about NOT going fat free when dieting, I know there is a lot of confusing information about this, but often times fat-free stuff is higher in sugar and carbs....also, your body NEEDS fat to function properly, but there are good fats and bad fats....saturated is BAD, these fats are found in animal products (meat, dairy, you get the idea) but there are good oils that actually help your cholesterol, blood pressure, digestion.....to sum it up, your body needs fats to do its job....AND....fat does not turn into fat in your body.....carbs and sugars are converted into fat, so if your eating the whole bag of marshmallows cause it says fat-free your gonna be surprised when you don't see a positive change on the scale.....GOOD FATS: Just to name a few are Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Coconut Oil, Flaxseed Oil, and Grape Seed Oil.....it is easy to make the change from your usual oil to one that will actually benefit your health, I pretty much use Olive Oil for everything, but I learned the hard way, to not use the Extra Virgin Olive Oil in cakes or even pancakes, they kinda tasted like olives...ha ha....well, I probably won't be making cakes much anymore, so I will pass that info on to you guys :) So, remember to keep the good fat in your diet and give veggies a try.....and even though you don't know my friend Lloyd, this veggie promotion is for him, too :) Your mom was right when she said, "Eat your veggies".....I even try to get my kids to eat veggies, but I have noticed that since I have been eating ONLY veggies, they are more interested in trying them, and have even found some new favorites....lead by example, and explore a new veggie that you haven't tried :)
I know this is a really long post, but since I only post once a day in the evening, I want to make sure I get everything on here....so to sum up, I ate new veggies, like the shakes a little more, did more exercise...AND....I didn't cheat AT ALL TODAY!!!! :) Not even a little nibble :) Have a wonderful evening, and I hope you have a great Thursday tomorrow :)

Hello, everyone :) I hope you had a great day today.....I hope that you had a personal victory today :) For me, I had several :) I DIDN'T eat the potato oles that I bought for my kids to have with their chicken at dinner :) and....I DIDN'T eat the sample of Chinese at the mall that my son didn't want to try....I threw it away :) Just so you know....that was REALLY HARD.....I really don't like to throw food away, it seems so wasteful, but I have to change my mindset, I have to acknowledge that it is even more wasteful to throw my life and my health away instead of just tossing the unneeded food :) Also, I went to the store and got some more fruits and veggies today, got some pineapple, and it made the "shakes" almost edible (still don't like the texture) but the flavor was pretty good :) Also, I know they say your not suppose to weigh everyday, but since it is not going to discourage me or make me quit, I decided to weigh anyway, and it was 275.8.....that's right almost 5 lbs down from yesterday :) I am certainly headed in the right direction :) So, while I was at the store today, I don't know what got into me, but I decided to buy some beets....this is a new veggie for me, definitely out of my comfort zone....I also got Asparagus, and Zucchini (guess I was looking for hard to spell foods...ha ha) Anyway, prepared the Asparagus a new way tonight that I have never had....you put them on a cookie sheet with a little olive oil and a little salt and then you put it under the broiler for 4-5 minutes and then turn it over and broil for another 3-4 minutes....it was REALLY GOOD!!!! I am actually very satisfied from dinner and I ate over 2 hours ago, I had a small sweet potato, and I can't have butter, but I can have Coconut Oil (It kind of looks like shortening, but it has a low melting point like butter) the container said it can be spread on toast instead of butter, so I tried a little in my sweet potato, and it was VERY good.....the flavors went well together, and I think it will be one of my regular veggies :) So, just to catch you up, for dinner I had about a pound of Asparagus and a small sweet potato and washed it all down with a "shake" made with pineapple and strawberries.....This is one happy girl :) And for the record, I haven't had ANYTHING that is not allowed on my cleanse for the first 2 days, I know I still have 19 days to go on my Purification Program, but I am off to a good start :) I really am so grateful for  all the support and encouragement I have gotten.....I would love to return the favor and be a support and encouragement to each of you, too :) I want to encourage you to make one healthy change not just for a day, but to make a commitment to make a permanent change.....examples would be to quit drinking pop, quit smoking, eat more veggies, or cut out extra sugars.....just think about your life, and think about the things that are keeping you from better health....you don't have to change it all at the same time....just make one change and stick with it :)

Well, I am mostly done with my first day towards a new me :) Before I tell you about my day, I would like to tell you about something I have learned about myself over the last several years.....I am a person who doesn't want to FAIL.....I have found that when it comes to things that I try, but don't have the confidence that I will succeed, I just QUIT, instead....in my mind I would rather quit than fail, this is NOT a healthy perspective, it is not a way of life that will get me to where I am wanting to go, so what does a person do with this kind of knowledge.....well, for me, I have decided that I have to not be afraid to fail, easy to say, harder to do....look at Edison, he failed thousands of times before perfecting the lightbulb, and he said, he didn't fail, he just figured out a lot of ways NOT to make a lightbulb....THAT is a healthy perspective!!!! Also, I need to enter into new challenges without the preconceived notion that if I am not doing as well as I want, then I will just quit....I need to start this new challenge with the heart of a fighter, KNOWING that it won't be easy, but the GREAT things in life never are easy, but ALWAYS worth it!!! Now, on to the first day of my new life.....it started in the most humbling of ways....with a trip to the scale!!!! I have decided to make myself completely vulnerable and tell you what the scale said....I feel that I need to take ownership of exactly where I am at in starting this journey....so, i will tell you that the scale said I weighed 280.....that is where I am starting *sigh* I went downstairs and made my "shake" with banana, strawberry and blueberry.....it was NASTY!!! Ugh, something about having all those green veggies in the shake mix, BUT it is suppose to be good for me, so instead of pouring it down the drain and saying "forget this"....I drank it down.....then went to my water aerobics class (2 hours) then came home and ate a pound of green beans, and washed it down with ANOTHER SHAKE!!!! Ugh :( I will say that this one, I made with more strawberries, and added grapes to make it taste a little sweeter, and it was better....I did take a nap today, cause frankly I was SUPER tired :) But when I got up, I ate some raw broccoli, and then had a 3rd and final shake for dinner with another pound of green beans, cooked in some coconut oil with some mushrooms and onions.....it was pretty tasty, and I am feeling very good about my day.....one day down....now, I will tell you that there were many times during the day when I was preparing food for my beautiful children, that I was tempted to just lick the peanut butter knife, or eat a few of their cheese puffs.....it took a very conscious effort to not just eat things out of habit, I am not going to worry about tomorrow or how long I can keep this up, I am just going to focus on the positive, fight like a tiger for each victory, and be determined to NOT QUIT!!!! Have a good night everyone :)

This is my first blog entry....I hope I am doing it right :) So, with the encouragement of my husband, I have decided to blog my journey to becoming more healthy and fit.  I don't have a weight goal, or even a dress size in mind, I would just like to be able to shop in the regular clothes section at stores.....I have been buying plus size clothes for almost 15 years, and I just want to be able to look on any rack in any store and know that something will fit me :) I am starting a 3-week Purification Program tomorrow morning....it includes shakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner plus all the veggies and fruit I can eat....the only rules are that I cannot have anything else other than that, and I have to eat twice as many veggies as fruit....now for those of you who are reading this that know me, I want you to understand that I am starting this process under the supervision of a health care professional, and that you need not worry about whether I am doing this without proper guidance and supervision.....I would encourage any of you that are trying to make healthy changes to start with a cleanse of some kind....Mine is from Standard Process (you can google it)...I will let you know how it is going :) Also, from what I have been reading, any good purification doesn't eliminate ALL oils and fats, but allows the "good" ones....yes, you heard me....THERE ARE GOOD FATS.....Good fats do all sorts of good things for your cholesterol, and your heart, digestion....you name it :) My good fats that I am allowed to use for cooking or in my shakes are: Flaxseed Oil, Olive Oil, Coconut Oil, Fish Oil, and Grapeseed Oil.....ha ha....a few of those don't sound like they would be ANY good in a shake, but I might use them to saute veggies :) Well, that is all I have to say as far as a first post :) Hope that I can help inspire others to start a journey towards a healthier life by making mine public :) Have a good evening, and I will try to post daily, but I think you all know that is a hard thing to accomplish :)