Alright.....I know that most people have the problem of overeating, and eating the wrong things, but I think I am having the opposite problem :( I have been under-eating.....I need to come up with a plan on how to get enough calories consumed per day, I haven't had dinner yet, but I am under 1,000 for the day.....I can't eat enough at dinner, without eating things that are bad for me, to reach my caloric goals.....I think it is because my carbs have been so low, my body has converted to fat burning, and therefore, I am not feeling hungry.....however, it is a proven fact that you need to eat enough calories to keep your metabolism up.....maybe the fact that I am drinking green tea, will keep my metabolism up enough to make up for the lack of calories.....I have been doing the extremely low carb dieting, and I am thinking if I go back to the way I was eating for my cleanse, and include less meat, and more fruits and veggies that I would reach a happy balance.....this would be a time that having a personal nutritionist would come in handy :) I didn't weigh this morning, I will try to remember to weigh tomorrow, I had a busy morning today getting ready for church, and tomorrow I am going to the zoo with a dear friend from high school, I am sure our kids will have a good time, and I am sure to get a good workout :) I have found that since I have started wearing my slim coach, I have been looking for reasons to be active, even when I am sewing....I use to put my ironing board right next to my sewing desk in an "L" shape and then I would stay in my chair and just turn my chair one way or the other, but now I keep my board across the room and that way I am constantly getting up, and sitting down....I know it isn't much, but every little bit counts....I have reached my caloric burn goals today, but I still need to straighten the house, and then do my workout, I should reach my heart activity goals today, cause I haven't had more than 30 minutes of heart activity since Wed.....I should have had some on Friday, but we didn't go to the orchard as planned, and I have been busy sewing this weekend....I think a way to remedy this in the future is to make myself go for a walk before I start sewing, that way I am sure to get my activity in :) I am at a loss for what to eat tonight......I think maybe eggs, and something else.......I really wish I had a nutritionist/personal chef, so I never had to put any thought into what I have to eat, or when to eat :) That would make it so much easier :) Well, I have a lot to do before going to bed, so I will sign off for tonight :) Hope you all have a fantastic Monday :)

I know my Saturday posts aren't very long....it is my only day that I get my hubby ALL to myself, so I don't like to spend too much time on here :) I have been sticking to a strict diet for the last 5 weeks....that is 3 weeks on the cleanse, and 2 weeks just regular dieting......and I have stumbled upon a surprising result......I apologize if this is too detailed, but I think it is important info, for either my male or female readers, especially if you may be having trouble conceiving......let me start at the beginning.....From the time I was a young teenager I have always had a 32-35 day cycle, the "normal" length is 28 days, or at least that is what all the text books say....I have asked many doctors over the years about the fact that mine is longer, and their response has always been that all people have different lengths and that it really isn't a big deal and doesn't matter......I should fill you all in on one more detail of my life, it took us 10 years to have Caroline, and the doctors said that it may not be possible for us to ever have kids, and even though my cycle remained lengthy, we were finally able to have children, we then had Josiah 2 years later, and right before I got pregnant with Kyndall, I started going to a Chiropractor, and having acupuncture, at that point my cycle shortened to right around 31-32 days, and has remained that way since around August of last year, minus the time that I was pregnant with Kyndall......well, since I started this cleanse, and changed my diet, I have had two cycles in a row that were EXACTLY 28 days.....hmmmm.....I only bring up this EXTREMELY personal information, because I feel that it really points toward the difference eating right and cutting out sugar and unhealthy starches can play in your overall health.....it is entirely likely, that if I had stumbled upon these findings years ago, that we may have had kids sooner, :) Anyway, the only changes I have made is diet and exercise and it seems that I may be actually recovering from Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome...no doctor has ever given me any hope or indication that I could ever be free from PCOS, but apparently diet plays a much bigger role in these things than I have ever heard from a medical professional....if your having ANY health issues that medicine and doctors don't seem to be helping, I really would encourage you to give good old fashioned eating right a try....cut out all the unhealthy things, like pop, sugar, and simple carbs, and add more veggies, and water to your diet.....it may be the answer your looking for, you just have to ask yourself, "how bad to I want to be healthy???" and "what would I be willing to give up for my improved health???" Sorry again for the personal info, but I thought all day about whether I should post, but I decided that if my personal experiences would help shine light on a possible health issue that you have been struggling with, then it was worth a little humbling to discuss it with you guys :) I have experienced enough, and learned enough over the last 5 weeks to keep me focused on the necessity of sticking to my diet and also keeping a close eye on the things I let my kids eat.....if teaching them to eat right, and take care of their bodies will save them the pain of not being able to have kids when they get older, or protect them from serious illness, then I think I will happily be the 'CRAZY' mom that doesn't let her kids eat sugar or drink pop....but that's ok with me, cause I don't let them do drugs or drink alcohol either :) I know that sounds crazy, but we know the damaging effects of doing drugs or drinking alcohol, and I am seeing more and more in my own life, what that sugar was doing to me....so I don't even think having sugar in moderation is the way to go....it is complete avoidance for me....that is the only solution to my problems :) Sticking to this resolve may be difficult because there are so many things in our lives that have sugar, I am sure the kids will get some, but not nearly as much as me or my husband had as kids, but I am sure they will still have some every once in a while :) I am also sure that I won't have any ability to avoid sugar completely, however if I say I am going to avoid it completely then I will have far less sugar than if I say I am going to have a little :) I think I may be rambling, but I hope that makes sense......I also set my bedroom clock 10 minutes ahead, these little mental games keep me on my toes :) Maybe I am the only one :)

This is a picture of the Asparagus that I ate for dinner tonight :) My sister called me today out of concern that I have not been eating enough calories....it is true that on some of the days this week I have been rather busy, and I probably haven't eaten as much as I should....it is important to make sure your eating enough and often enough to keep your metabolism up, I know this is something I need to keep a closer eye on, and I don't want to give any kind of impression that it is ok to skip meals or eat too few of calories.....for my size I should be eating at least 1,800 calories a day, and for even a small woman, you should eat no fewer than 1,200 calories per day......I think the reason my calorie levels have been so low, is for 2 reasons, one is that I don't think I ever really eat enough, but now that I am not eating starches or sugary things I am consuming a lot less calories, but overall I am feeling satisfied, and I am not wasting away or anything, but if you find that your weight loss has slowed down or stopped, or if your feeling tired, then you might want to look at your calorie consumption, instead of lowering it to lose more weight, you may need to raise it :) Also, I have been doing a lot of sewing today, and I then got up and straightened up the house, and loaded the dishwasher, I didn't reach my goal of 30 minutes of increased heart activity, but I did  11 minutes, and my weekly average is still more than 30 minutes per day, so that is good :) I burned twice as many calories today as my goal, and I am still using more calories than I am consuming :) So, hopefully I will meet my 3 pound goal this week, but this might be a week that it won't appear that I have lost anything, due to circumstances beyond my control, but after this week is over, it is possible that I will see my loss from this week and next week, too :) It is important to figure in all factors before you get discouraged at a lack of weigh loss :) My plan is to start adding some treadmill or bike time into my workouts, too.....

I would like to take moment to talk about self-esteem, and confidence....where it comes from, and often times how it is torn down.....most of us aren't going to have a negative opinion about ourselves because of what a stranger might say, I mean, do we really care THAT much about what someone we don't know really thinks about us....it might hurt us briefly, but it shouldn't change our lives....the truth is, a strangers unkind words are usually just reinforcing something we already thought was true because someone we love, someone that we have allowed into our trusted inner circle has already planted those seeds of doubt and feelings of insecurity in our minds, and we have carried those negative and destructive words around in our heads and hearts for a good portion of our lives......unfortunately, some people say hurtful things, they are sometimes the same people who are suppose to be lifting us up, and giving us to the courage to face our fears, and conquer our doubts......it could be a parent, sibling, best friend, or boyfriend, they may have had good intentions in what they said, just poor tact, or they may be fighting their own battles of jealousy, or insecurity.......I think often times we never get past those feelings we had in high school of just wanting to fit in and feel normal, but let me tell you.....normal is another word for AVERAGE, and you don't have to stop with just being average, you can achieve greatness!!!! And the worst thing you can do, is let someone else's destructive words be what is holding you back from who you can be.....and who is it that each of us can be??? I will tell you.....you can be the person that looks in the mirror and sees how unique and wonderful you are :) You can be the person that doesn't see every flaw and imperfection, but instead sees the challenges you have overcome, and the success that you are :) You can be the person that doesn't wonder when someone is looking at you, if it because they think you are ugly or fat, but instead choose to think they are looking at you for a positive reason.......If you can't stand up to that person who is continually making you feel like you are a failure, then at least stop taking it to heart......fill your life with positive and helpful things, be the encouragement to someone else that you want to have in your life....and it will come back to you.......you will feel better about who you are when you invest your life into the lives of others :)

Alright, I KNOW it is late, and I KNOW I am suppose to be in bed already, but I had sewing that I had to get done, and IMPORTANT visiting with my good friend, Sam that also HAD to be done :) So, I am really late getting my blog up, but I didn't want to go to bed without it....I think I forgot to mention in my post on Monday, that I DID reach my 3 pound loss goal for last week, and I am down another pound since yesterday.....I have been so busy today, I have hardly eaten ANYTHING....I am a little hungry right now, and that is no surprise, cause I can tell you what I have eaten today....I had 2 hard boiled eggs for breakfast, and for a mid-morning snack, I had a chocolate peanut butter Atkins bar, I had a Starbucks Cafe Americano, and accidentally skipped lunch :( Then for dinner I had 3 beef hotdogs, and that is all folks, for a total of.....10 carbs....my goal is around 20 g of carbs per day, so I really exceeded my goals today, probably not something I should do everyday, but considering that a lot of my day was spent infront of a sewing machine, I really wasn't burning much, so less calories in, since I haven't been burning them today, probably works out pretty good....but I think I might eat SOMETHING before I go to bed :)  I waited too long to sync my Slim Coach, so I have no idea how I did today....but I will find a way to figure it out :) Well, since I am currently NOT doing the one thing I talked about needing to do as a new goal, I am gonna get off here for tonight, and try to get some rest :) Have a good one :)

Alright, I have targeted a new issue in my life that I really NEED to get under control......I need to get more sleep at night.....HA HA.....any of you that know me, know that I am a HORRIBLE night owl, I always have been, and most of the time I wake up ready to take on my day....HOWEVER.....it has been proven that if you give your body more rest at night then your more successful in your weight loss goals :) So, this is an area that I am always cheating.....I KNOW my body needs more sleep than I give myself...also, I know I should drink MORE water, too....So, I think that I am like most people, I started by focusing on the "general" things that you should cut out of your diet, but so many times, we forget about adding in good things, too....I think this kind of ties in with yesterday's blog....it is NOT about focusing on the bad, and negative, it is MORE about dwelling on the positive and productive things in our lives, life is not just a list of DO NOTS......it is about making our lives better, and that is not done by focusing on the negatives in life.....it is just as much of a conscious decision as choosing the right foods....We live in a world that dwells on the negatives, and sadness of life, but we don't have to be a slave to those thoughts, and THAT life.....I CHOOSE to focus on the good and positive....try it for just one day, and see what a difference it makes.....It can CHANGE your life!!!! 

So, I went to the gym this morning, and had a mostly active day, in spite of  doing sewing today, and I managed to get my heart rate up for 69 minutes, and I burned over 1,000 calories, and walked 13,500 steps or a little over 6 miles :) I also have only had 1100 calories today, and that means that I burned about double what I ate today....I really am not THAT person, I have never been known for my willpower, or sticking with something, so I am REALLY very surprised by my accomplishments, I am proof that any one can do anything if they just get in the right mindset, I feel that my cleanse was a great opportunity for me to really start looking at what kind of habits I have been forming, and how much healthier I feel living life with NEW habits :) I encourage you to start new habits, if you haven't already, and if you have made new choices, please post a comment and let me know how your new choices are going.....I know it would be an encouragement to me, and I am sure to all the other readers, too :) You can always do it anonymously if you would rather know one know who you are :)

So, I had a little bit of a revelation today about the way we view our world :) I was thinking about all the people who have told me that they couldn't have made such a drastic change to their lifestyle, that they couldn't give up chocolate, or coffee, or pop for a week, much less for 3 weeks :) I was also thinking about how it's possible that I make it through every night by myself, and I don't cheat, and I don't just veg out.....and then it hit me....I am not dwelling on what I can't have......I know that my feelings of harnessing my thoughts started with just some way to get through losing Kyndall without losing my mind, or forgetting who I really am, but I have realized that it is a healthy outlook to carry me through all parts of my life.....which got me thinking, after looking at most people's facebook status', we live in a whole world FULL of people that are DWELLING on things that they cannot change.....we must first address what IS something that we can change and what is something that we CAN'T change.....the things that can't be changed are the things that are concrete and irreversible, Also, the things that will not benefit us to change, like wanting a bigger house, but knowing that you can't afford it.....wasting all that energy pining away for something you either can't have or don't need.....instead we can live our lives every day focusing and spending our energy on the things we can change and improve :) Our minds will naturally lean towards what we dwell on the most, so if you stay focused on the prize you will NOT be focused on the things that your not doing or eating anymore :) So, maybe I am just rambling and this is something that everyone else knows already, but for me it is a new side of me and new a outlook on succeeding in being a healthier me....I also did the math and figured that if I keep losing 3 pounds a week, by the time I have my 6 month check up, I will be under 200 pounds!!!! That would be AWESOME!!!! I haven't seen that number since I was a newlywed 15 years ago....it got me pretty excited :) Just thinking about that kind of change makes it seem really reachable...a goal I can achieve, and I can do it, one day at a time, by sticking with my choices and not giving up :)

So, I have been doing a lot of sewing today, so I have been sitting a lot :( But I did get up and do a dance workout before I sat back down to cut out a purse for a customer :) I just finished uploading my Slim Coach, and I still managed to be a Dolphin today, even though I felt pretty inactive :) Ok, my heart activity was low, and I didn't burn very many extra calories today, but I met my goal, I am going to try to do a little more heart activity before I go to bed, so I can meet my 30 min goal for that, too :) But my food intake was pretty low today, so I still am doing pretty well today :) Don't forget to make everyday count towards your future, don't let one of the slip away with excuses and dwelling on the things we cannot change :)

I was briefly a dolphin last night :) I know, I know....a rabbit can dream....ha ha.....Well, I went to see my doctor today, and she was very pleased with my bloodwork, I also found out that my triglyceride levels 3 months ago were in the 200's, can't remember the exact number, but my new numbers were in the double digits, and within normal levels :) She never even mentioned the word "diabetes" and she said that the 1% drop in my A1C level was AMAZING, she said they only see drops like that when they adjust medication...and I did it with NO MEDS....just diet and exercise :) I will go back in 6 months to get more labwork.  My doctor seemed to be really excited to see what my results would be in that amount of time.....also, I have lost a total of 20 pounds since in the last 3 months :)  So, I am feeling really great about how my day has gone :) My house looks AMAZING!!!! and it is because I did the work, Josh totally helped, but I would have felt awful if he had done all the work, and I had been too tired to get things accomplished on my own :) I am really surprised at how much more energy I have, since I cut out the bad stuff in my diet and started eating more good stuff....I even had the patient tech tell me today at the doctor's office, that she could never do what I have been doing with diet and exercise, but I told her that she COULD....each one of us has the ability to do what needs to be done :) You just have to realize that you have it in you :) 

I was up late working on my office, and between 12 and 1, I did 68% of my goal for today :) So, I was already in the green after only being awake for a couple hours....I walked 6 1/2 miles today, and burned 990 calories, so far....I am still at 268, but after going off the cleanse, I went up 2-3 lbs, and I have lost that again, So, my goal has been to lose 3 lbs a week, and this week I technically lost 4 lbs, but I am only down on the scale by 2 pounds, but still pretty good with the transition in dieting, you can always expect a little learning curve :) So, I still feel really positive about the changes I have made, and where my health is headed :) I would encourage you to talk to your doctor, and have some your labwork done, even if your pretty healthy, you will see an improvement from a better diet and better activity levels.....it is really good affirmation to see those changes in black and white :)  I actually chose to drive past the close parking spaces at Hyvee today, and park further back in the lot :) I only went about halfway back, but it was a BIG DEAL....I almost took a picture of how far away I was from the store...ha ha...Well, I hope your Monday was productive....now on to the rest of the week :)

I hope your enjoying the pictures I have been trying to include....however, I don't have a picture for today, in fact, I really don't have time to post on my blog today, I have to finish getting my office put back together :) I have a busy couple weeks, lots of sewing, and I know on weeks like this, where I may be sitting at a sewing machine for long periods of time, I need to make a plan for including activity DAILY :) I should tell you, that after not having pop for 4 WEEKS, I bought one tonight on my way home from church....a Diet Orange Sunkist :) It has been enjoyable, and I don't mind saying it is something I have missed, but obviously I have proven that I can live without it, so I am not going to feel guilty about drinking it....it is NOT something I am going to do everyday, or even once a week, but it is zero calories, of course, the chemicals aren't good for you, but it is not going to sidetrack my goals, but I want to keep my body as clean as possible, since I just tortured myself through 3 weeks of purification :) I got a compliment at church today, someone asked me if I was losing weight, I said, "Yes, I am trying to" and they said they could really tell :) YAY!!!! I don't think they even knew about my blog....so they just noticed.....that is the best!!!! So, even though I have been to church TWICE today, and I also took a nap, I have met my caloric burn goals for today, NOW I am going to get busy and work up some real sweat....there will be LOTS of steps taken tonight, and lifting heavy things, so I shouldn't need to work out tonight.....like I said last night.....CLEANING = EXERCISE.....your husbands will LOVE your workout routine :) And if your kids are old enough, or maybe you don't have any in the house to make messes, I would gladly offer the names of some people who would happily share their "mess making" kids with you...ha ha....I am going to make this short tonight.....apologies to my friends like Mandy who will be reading this during breakfast, sorry it is too short.....I would rather be burning calories that typing on the computer :) So, off I go.....I hope each of you have a productive Monday :)

Cleaning = Exercise

GREEN TEA!!!!! I got this from Wal-Mart, and I have been drinking it like CRAZY, I brew 2 bags in just a small amount of water, and then I add ice and more water, till it is around 20-30 oz total, (with ice) I think I add one pack of splenda, but can't remember for sure, I may have drank it plain :) If your looking for a healthy way to get more energy, and you normally find tea to not be that great, I encourage you to try this one :)  I have had a very productive day, busy getting my office completely emptied out, and then putting everything back in an orderly manner.  For me, I have found that once I start trying to get my life together in one area, I need to work on new areas too, seems that if I just do one thing, then the other things that are weighing down my life get in the way of accomplishing my goals...so I am starting with the one room I have ignored on PURPOSE....I had a little bit of a tough time today, cause I had to go through Kyndall's things that I just stuffed in a cabinet to deal with another day, well today was the day, and I got through it :) There were a few tears, and lots of sighs, but I made it!!!! I have found that many things in life that are difficult, don't get any easier if you put them off or ignore them, you have to seize the day, and deal with it.....yeah, it will be HARD, but that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger :)

  I am sure you remember my rant from yesterday about being a SNAIL!!!! Well, I just plugged in my slim coach, and it said I am a RABBIT!!! Wouldn't you know it, I skipped past the turtle AND the penguin :) A rabbit is a moderate lifestyle that includes 2-3 times per week where I participate in planned 30 minute exercise.....YES, that's ME!!!!! I AM A RABBIT!!! My next goal is....dolphin :) I have to admit, I am glad to be past the "dumpy" animals...ha ha.....the rest from here on out are fun ones, like a dolphin, horse, shark and cheetah :) I don't know that I will ever make it to cheetah, but it is something to shoot for :)  So, all I have done today is work in my office, and I went outside this afternoon and planted some plants :) AND I still managed to get 34 minutes of accelerated heart rate, and I burned 860 active calories :) I didn't even go work out today, I also walked almost 13,000 steps today :) I really love my slim coach, it helps me stay motivated :) I would have never thought I could accomplish so much health wise on a day like today, I would have felt like I failed to exercise, but it turns out I did!!!! So, now I will talk about my dinner today.....I had a roll at Bob Evans with dinner, and I had 1/4 of a cookie :) That's right, I am smiling, cause I was in control, I chose this meal, it didn't choose me, and I decided that I would enjoy my meal, and not feel like I failed or cheated.....I have not had bread in 4 weeks, and I have only had a teeny bit of sugar on the day after my cleanse ended, so I felt like it was ok to "indulge" a little, so I got a cookie and shared it with my whole family, we all ate 1/4, and I gave Josh and Josiah the fattest half, and gave myself the smallest piece :) I don't feel bad at all, and it turns out, according to my slim coach, I am eating only half of the calories that I burn each day, so that is certainly going to show up on the scale, AND one dinner isn't going to mess it up :) So, what are you doing to get your life in order??? What are you doing to be accountable for the things in your life that you can change for the better ???? :) Have a good Sunday, tomorrow :)

Today has been a good day....I feel like I was pretty active ALL day, but when I sync'd up my slim coach, it gave me my first weekly goals and reading, and it gave me the picture of a snail.....A SNAIL!!!!! This is the lowest of the animal pictures for activity level....it said my daily activity is snail-like, very long periods of inactivity, and very little energy expended when I am active?!?!?!?!? I can only assume it is basing this on the average of months, even though it only has information for the last week....now I feel compelled to prove this stupid equipment WRONG!!!! ha ha......in truth, my daily levels FAR EXCEED my goals, and I have been burning around 1,000 calories a day!!!! That doesn't seem "snail-like" to me :(  I am hoping to progress beyond the snail, turtle, penguin, and at least be a rabbit....rabbits are pretty active, right???? Ok, my rant is OVER.....now on to my first critique of my blog....my sister said that I needed to post pictures.....so I think I figured out how to do it, but in truth, I haven't really been taking a lot of pics, but I did take a picture of some delicious cantaloupe that I got the other day, but it doesn't really seem relevant to my blog today, so I will include some adorable pics of my beautiful children, to remind you to put a face to your goals :) Maybe have a picture frame with your children, or hubby, or even your pet (if that is your motivation for getting healthy)....don't laugh, maybe your dog is feeling neglected and not getting to go on walks because your too unhealthy.....anyway, maybe put it on the fridge, or by your TV, or on your desk at work, or as your wallpaper on your computer, somewhere that you frequently lose your motivation, and will power to keep going strong :)

            Caroline.....Almost 5

 

Josiah......Just turned 3

I got my Blood Work back :)

Well, if there was any question in my mind about how successful this new journey has been so far, or if I am truly on a "new" journey or just circling the old path.....my blood test results have been a real eye opener :) So, without further ado, I will tell you what my results were from 3 months ago and what they are currently.....Please don't judge me for my poor numbers, I really AM headed in the right direction and that is ALL that matters :) My fasting blood sugar was 198.....now it is 120 (It should be under 110, so I feel that I will be well within range by the next blood test)...My A1C (it is a blood sugar average for 3 months, I don't know how they figure this out) 3 months ago mine was 7.....now it is 6.1 (regular number should be in the mid 5's, but a 6 is still not super bad, more like a pre-diabetic number).....My HDL (good cholesterol) was 27.....now it is 29 (it should be 50 or higher, but more exercise will get that number up)....and my LDL (bad cholesterol) was 75 and now it is 73 (anything under 150 is good, so I am well within the healthy range for that)....So, some of you, particularly those with a medical background may be alarmed with my numbers, especially what they were 3 months ago, but just seeing my fasting number go down 80 is a really good thing, and I am pretty close to being in range for everything :)  I just finished plugging in my slim coach and I am 10 minutes shy of having enough heart health activity for today, but I have been a real slug today, about the only thing I have done to get my heart rate up, is to power walk when I was pushing my shopping cart today, but I still got 20 minutes of elevated heart rate for not even trying to exercise....that means it isn't THAT hard to get active.....so many times I have felt like there is no way I could do enough to be healthy, and it turns out just being conscious of the need to be active REALLY is a big step in the right direction.....I have lost another 2 pounds!!!!! I am down to 268!!!! YAY!!!!  After seeing the progress I have made in the last 3 months, and truthfully, only the last month I have really been serious about trying, so just imagine what 3 months of dedication is gonna look like.....and tonight I am really wanting a Diet Cherry Coke :(  I know it is the fizzy that I am missing, so I am going to make some green tea and use carbonated water to make it....I am hoping that will get me past this craving :) If not, maybe I will just get myself a pop over the weekend, but I am sure, like everything else I have tried, it just won't hold the appeal that it use to.....I took a taste of Caroline's Mac n' Cheese today, and it really tasted nasty to me....I can't imagine that I use to love to indulge in that stuff...cause it just tastes YUCKY :P So, I am feeling very motivated to keep going, I am wearing a pair of capris and shirt that are size 20....I was in a 24 when I started this :) I am just one clothing size away from being in the teens, and just 2 sizes away from being able to wear clothes from the misses dept :) When I post things like this, it feels like bragging, but I really want it to be seen as encouragement, cause if I can make these changes then ANYONE can.....I don't want to be seen as someone who has all this will power and determination, cause I don't have any more than anyone else, we all have it in us, we just often choose not to use it :) Anyone who knows me well, will tell you, that they had know idea I would latch onto this thing and not give up....I am a reformed quitter.....I KNOW that each one of you can conquer your own demons and become a success :) I will tell you, that everyday I have new battles that I have to win, just the fact that I tried the mac n' cheese tells me that I still have a ways to go :) I know that I can't quit!!!! I will succeed, one little battle at a time...and each of you can, too......it doesn't matter how many failed attempts and false starts you have had, I have had nearly 15 years of failure to get me to this point, but I love my husband AND my kids too much to sit on the sidelines of their lives :)

Well, I have been doing a low-carb diet for the last several days, and the stomach pain is back....for those of you who are new to stalking me, I was having troubles with my stomach back in February, and it lasted through the month of March :(  I have been doing all my own cooking and pretty much eating at home other than Salmon at Bob Evans, but tonight we went to the Texas Roadhouse, and I had the Roadkill.....I think I may have overeaten, I still stayed low in carbs, just had the ground beef patty with broccoli and carrots, but it wasn't until after I ate it, that I realized it was 10 oz of beef (that is a lot).....got me thinking about how we are so accustom to seeing a lot of food on a plate that we just assume THAT is a serving size....Josh and I were talking after we left the restaurant, and we realized that we would have both been satisfied to share ONE entree.....so, lesson learned, now I have to deal with my tummy hurting tonight, but I know I didn't hurt my diet, cause I had NO bread or potatoes, I even drank water with lemon :) I think I would like to eat something to make my tummy feel better though......it is kinda crazy, cause after doing a 3 week cleanse I think I am more in tune to what my body really needs, and what it doesn't need.....I think that from here on out, we will be spending less on food :)

On the other hand, my activity level is doing GREAT!!! I did 59 minutes of heart healthy activity, and I have burned 1,070 active calories today :) I have taken over 13,000 steps today AND I have traveled a total of around 6 miles today :) I was hoping to be able to post my before and after blood work results, cause I had my blood work done in Jan, and I just got it re-done on Tues....however, my DR is holding the info until my appointment on the 23rd.... :( NOT COOL!!!!  So, we all have to wait until then....Also, I lost another pound, so that is 2 for the week so far.....I also want to congratulate all of my friends who have been succeeding at taking steps towards a healthier life.....I have one friend who is conquering her post-baby weight (probably about time to start putting on some NEW baby weight :) I have another friend who is going Vegan :) It am seeing more and more posts on Facebook in regard to exercise, or diet changes.....GOOD JOB, GUYS!!!! It helps keep me going to see that being healthier is important to other people, too :) Hope you have a great evening :)

Well, I think this is getting easier???? No, that might not be the right word....there is nothing easy about changing the way you think, but I have definitely established new eating habits, and new ways of thinking about food, AND exercise....As I write this blog, I am testing out my husbands new ab belt.....I finally figured it out, Josh :) I have been making conscious choices to be more active, AND eat the right stuff, and avoid the wrong stuff to eat :) I haven't had anything bad today to eat....I actually CHOSE to do a workout routine on Netflix, I only did 20 minutes, but it was twice as much as I did last time......Also, I have BIG NEWS!!!! Tonight at dinner, we had Pot Roast and Asparagus and I cooked mushrooms and onions in the crock pot with the roast :)....so we didn't have potatoes with dinner, that is a first, I have never made a roast without potatoes, but as usual, I put the meat and only 4 pieces of asparagus (about 2" long each) on each of my kids plates.....JOSIAH ATE ALL HIS ASPARAGUS AND ASKED FOR MORE!!!! This is HUGE deal, he never wants veggies, he usually says, "I don't like it" before he even knows what it is, and he ate all of it, and then ate all of his seconds (which I gave him more the second time) and ate most of his thirds.......I am thoroughly convinced that it really DOES make a difference what kind of example your setting for your kids....they see what your eating, and what your doing, and they want to be JUST LIKE YOU!!!! So, if you think for one minute that the bad habits you have aren't going to be worse in your kids you have another thing coming.....My kids will see what I am eating or preparing, and they want to try it....Josiah asked me today if he could grow up to be just like daddy....he even HAS to wear his sunglasses, just like daddy....I know a lot of my readers are moms, and for me, doing things just for me hardly ever happens, so if my motivation for making healthy changes is just so I look good in a swimsuit, or so that you can fit into my pre-baby clothes, then it probably wouldn't happen, but I look into the smiling, innocent, sweet faces of my children, and I want what is the absolute best thing for them, I want EVERYTHING good for them in their lives, I don't want anything to hold them back.....I want them to have a healthy view on their bodies, their health, and food.....If I don't like who I am, then they will learn to be critical of the way they look, they will feel like they are never good enough, and if I don't teach my children healthy eating habits, by example, then they will not be as healthy as they could be....I am really proud of myself for saying so long to Soda Pop, because even though I don't let my kids drink pop, they have watched me and Josh drink pop all the time, Caroline use to think that all pop cans had Diet Cherry Coke in them.....I am really glad that I am no longer setting that bad example for them to follow :) I guess I feel that if I can conquer my weight, and get fit and active, then I will be giving my kids the best gift ever.....a healthy mom, wonderful childhood memories of doing things as a family, AND getting to be there for them as they grow and start families of their own :) THAT is perspective.....THAT is having the right priorities :) So, to recap my day, I had a coffee this morning, but when we went to Target this afternoon, I actually got a Green Tea....it is the same price as the coffee I usually get, so I actually chose TEA?!?!?!? That is not the normal choice for me :) I felt really good about my decision, I don't think coffee is bad, but I think that having balance is good also :)  I am trying daily to remind myself that my decisions that I make today are not just about ME and NOW.....they are decisions that affect my children's future :) Thank you again, for supporting me by reading my blog....each of you make a difference for me every day :)

First Day---Post Cleanse

Today, more than ever before, I am convinced that doing a 3 week cleanse is a great idea.....I really encourage each of you, to not only try, but to complete it :)  I haven't had any pop....I really am going to quit that stuff for good....I really gave myself permission to eat whatever today, but I found myself WANTING to eat the healthy food that I have been eating....I really didn't live my life to eat, today.....I wasn't really that hungry and when I was feeling hungry, it didn't seem to really matter....I think to some small extent, I have trained myself to not feel like I had to be eating all the time....I think that sometimes I eat out of boredom...It is important to pinpoint the reason for giving in to your cravings, and why your even having them......I have had 3 weeks of sitting here at night, doing everything I can to NOT think about what I would like to eat....and now that I can have what I want, I find myself spending a lot more time thinking about it, then just getting up and getting it.....I have opened the fridge several times today to try to figure out what to eat, and the only thing I have in there is healthy stuff, so that limits my opportunities for choosing poorly......I have said for years that the battle of healthy eating isn't fought in your kitchen.....it is fought in the grocery store....for that matter, whatever vice you have that you are trying to curb or get rid of....it isn't fought at home....it is when you are at the store and you CHOOSE to buy those cookies, or those cigarettes, or that beer or pop......If we can be strong enough in the grocery store, then when we are having a weak moment at home, there is nothing there to tempt us :) I had a good workout today, according to my slim coach, I have burned nearly 1,000 calories today, and I my calorie consumption has been less than my calorie burn :) I think I am going to need to work harder and longer at the gym, cause although my water aerobics class is getting my muscles working, and it IS getting my heartrate up, it isn't getting my heart rate into that fat burning phase for very long....it is just spurts throughout the work out......I will keep working at it and try to figure out how to the the most out of my routine....cause toning and tightening is good too....but I really need to burn off some of this extra cushioning :)  Also, I took on the long awaited project of cleaning out my office....this includes cabinets in there and also the closet (queue sinister music....da da dummmmmm) I have most of the stuff that was in my office, in pile around my living room....and I have half of the closet cleaned out, still have one more half to go before I can start on the cabinets, once everything is empty, I can start putting things back in an organized fashion.....the reason this is such a big project, is that the cabinets have Kyndall stuff in them, so I have avoided cleaning them out....lots of people have said, "take your time, you can do it when your ready".....the problem with that is....since I am avoiding cleaning out her stuff, there is no place to put OTHER stuff, so it ends up NOT in its place, so until I make places for things, they will continue to get more cluttery, and also, I cannot use what I cannot find....so I need to get this thing fixed....I have a lot of big sewing projects coming up, and I need to be able to sit in front of my sewing machine :) So, I have decided that the way I will feel more (I want to say in control, but that is the wrong word to use) useful in my life, I really need to just DO the things that I can do....I can't sit around and wait for the "thin fairy" to come and make me thin and healthy.....I can't wait for some random maid to come to my house and get me organized....these are things that I can do for myself, I have chosen to just sit.....to sit around and wait for the perfect day or time to get these things fixed......so now that I am in a fixing mood, I don't want to stop with just my health.....I want to make my house everything that it can be, too.......it is amazing how making just small changes to your life, for the better......can cause far reaching affects (it should be noted that making even small bad changes can do the same thing only with a negative result) I think we as humans are so mercurial (look it up...hee hee) that small changes affect us in big ways......a reason to keep a constant vigil over our choices, cause before you know it you are somewhere you never wanted to be in life.....My new goals for my post cleanse are as follows:  I have decided that if I lose 10 pounds a month, I will be pretty close to my goal weight in 10-12 months :) So, I am going to focus on losing 3 lbs a week....I think this is a very attainable goal, if I stick to my food and exercise goals.....so instead of thinking about losing 120lbs, I am going to focus on 3 pounds for this week....that is IT......as long as I can lose 3 lbs a week, then the big goals will be met...there is no reason for me to overwhelm myself with that BIG number....just 3....that is the only number I am going to focus on.....at that rate, I will be seeing the numbers drop pretty quickly :) Have you set a small attainable goal??? Or are you feeling overwhelmed with the task as a whole :) Oh, and for those of you who were wondering....I DID have the chocolate egg AND some coffee today....the chocolate/peanut butter egg was just ok, and it didn't give me extreme pleasure, nor was it disgusting, so I don't think I am just needing to eat sweets anymore, and the coffee.....the COFFEE was WONDERFUL!!!! I LOVED EVERY SIP!!!! I had it with some half and half and a packet of Splenda.....I know for certain that you will not hear me preaching about people giving up their coffee cause I have NO SUCH CONVICTION.... Have a great day!!!!

This is the LAST DAY OF MY CLEANSE!!!!  It has been a rough 3 weeks, but enlightening and empowering....the human mind is an amazing thing, you can let it control you, or you can control it....I know my health has benefited from this cleanse, but being able to complete it, and seeing this thing through has maybe been even more beneficial to my inner resolve....I know that I will have many challenges in life, probably at least daily, and I know that there will be days (probably many) where I don't win the battle, and I don't keep my mind under control, but it is these 3 weeks that have proven to me that I have it in me to conquer....I have the ability to use this inner strength, but just like any muscle, if I don't use it regularly it will atrophy, so maintaining control of my desires and the things I want to eat, and staying in charge of me, instead of letting my cravings take charge of me is still the key to success :) I have won this battle, but I am still 100 plus pounds away from winning the war :) So, what did I eat on my last day of cleanse...I had my usual yucky "shakes" and I had a delicious chicken salad with spinach and romaine lettuce, then I made "spaghetti noodles" out of grated zucchini and yellow squash, and had a very healthy tomato sauce....it was delish :) I haven't checked my slim coach today yet, but according to the light, I have reached my goals again today....so I will see how much I did after I clean the kitchen and straighten up the living room :) Also, I will be trying it out for the first time during my water aerobics class tomorrow...I am really hoping it is a good workout :) I am a fairly technical person, so I don't like just guessing, I like to know for sure, in concrete terms, if I am doing everything I am suppose to be doing :) So, tomorrow I am going to try to take the day off as far as diet, but after eating healthy for 3 weeks, my theory is that I will still want to eat veggies, and stay away from bad food....my goal is to not go back to my old habits....without the strict diet of the cleanse it will be harder to stick with it, but I know I can do it :) Hope everyone had a good weekend.....I am looking forward to hearing how your goals for healthy choices are going???? Did you give up that one thing that you know is bad for you? I look forward to hearing the results :)

First, I must apologize for not posting on my blog yesterday.....it is inexcusable, however....my hubby got home from work at 8, so my usual time for blog was spent watching a movie with hubby instead....so, I will fill you in on how day 19 AND 20 of my cleanse has been going.....I got my Slim Coach in the mail yesterday, and my first goal was to burn 250 calories a day, and have an accelerated heart rate for 30 minutes a day.....and even though I only wore it for just 3 hours I met my goal.....so today, I wore it for a full day, and also got the heart rate monitor in the mail today, and I walked almost 21,000 steps ( I will pass that by the end of the day) and I had my heart in the fat burning range for 116 minutes today :)  I know that sounds unbelievable, but I should also tell you that I went on a walk for MS today, and that was a 6 mile walk, which I did around 4-5 miles of :) I am REALLY TIRED today, but I went out this afternoon and did some shopping and put almost 3 more miles under my feet this afternoon :) I bought new coffees to try next week, and got stuff to transition from my cleanse diet to my "low-carb" diet....there is not much to transition.....now that I have the slim coach I am having an easier time tracking my diet, too....Today, I have only eaten 958 calories :) My range is around 1,800 so I know I will come under on that, but I still have a "shake" to drink at bedtime, also, even though I am not watching my carbs right now, I am happy to see that I have only eaten 53 grams today, and it will be around 60ish after my "shake".....I am sure I burnt lots of calories today :) In fact, I burnt 1,140 calories today :)  I saw my Nanny today at the walk, and she hasn't seen me for 2 weeks, and she asked me where the rest of me was.....my mom and dad also made comments about how it looked like I was toning up, and losing weight....I keep forgetting to weigh myself in the morning, so you will just have to wait until Monday, and I will reveal my total loss for my 3 week cleanse :) I am curious, too :) I would like to be a little repetitive, and thank you again for reading my blog and supporting my journey to a healthier life :) I really couldn't do it without you guys :) Today, Kyndall would have turned 9 months old, and it has been a really good day, and seeing myself accomplishing the goals I have set for myself, has helped take the focus off of Kyndall.....it has made it easier.....It may never be EASY, but focusing on the positive things in life really does take the sting away from the painful parts of life that I just can't be change....I wonder if losing Kyndall is also something that has given me the strength to take control of something I CAN control....ask yourself, if your wasting your energy trying to change things you can't change???? Or are there things in your life like eating habits, or making time for exercise that you CAN change, but you constantly tell yourself that you just couldn't possibly do it....Let me tell you, there is an inner strength, that is lying dormant in each and every one of us, and it is just waiting for a cause, a reason to rise to the occasion....sometimes we try to be strong in all the wrong ways, maybe giving our opinion where it isn't needed, or trying to act like your tough....that is not the right kind of strength, the right kind is the one where you prevail against your own weaknesses :) Can't wait to hear about your inner strength, and how you conquered your trials :)

It is that time.....time for JUSTIFICATION.......argh!!!! Such an ugly word.....we do it all the time for all different reasons, but when it comes to our health, and what we put in our bodies, we are even WORSE!!!! I have been relentlessly hammering myself mentally with justifications.....this last almost 3 weeks I hear all sorts of "good" reasons for cheating, or quitting.....even justifying that since I am going to be eating other kinds of meat after my cleanse, why not just eat any kind right now??? I talked to Josh today, and I told him that I was thinking about just blowing off the last 2 days of my cleanse, making today effectively the last day.....I told him, "what will 2 days really do one way or the other? It would be nice to have a weekend of frivolity, and taking a break from healthy eating, so that I will be all ready to start my new eating plan on Monday".....he agreed with me and told me that 2 days probably won't make a difference either way, however.....(this is where my hubby gets credit for being smart and annoying all at the same time) he said that the 2 days of cleansing was probably not nearly as important as the 2 days to COMPLETING my cleanse.....HE IS RIGHT :( :( :( (I hate it when that happens)...ha ha.....I am so grateful that God gave me such a thoughtful hubby that knows me so well....I need to see this thing through, not because my body will be so much cleaner on Sunday night compared to tonight, but because I need to have this victory, I NEED to know that I didn't quit or JUSTIFY a reason for changing my resolve......so here I am EATING SALMON....and contemplating what POUND of veggies I am going to eat with it *shrug* I am going to stick with this cleanse to the very end....I won't even stop on Sunday night, I will see it through till Monday morning......I have heard many people say, "I could never give up my coffee, or sugar, or meat".....but the truth is.....YOU CAN!!!! but it won't be without many struggles in your mind, and also with LOTS of self doubt and second guessing, and trying to retreat back to the old habits.....I read an article recently that said that people who go into weight loss with the mental belief that it will be hard, but achievable are more successful than people who assume that the changes will be easy to make and easy to stick with.....they called it being a "realistic optimist".....I kinda like that term, I think that is what I am trying to achieve.....to have a clear understanding of the seriousness, and the difficulty of the task, but still certain that I can overcome the obstacles with a firm resolve :) So, how is it going for you?? Have you back tracked at all? Are you feeling like a failure or a success??? I try to keep in mind that the way I feel about myself has a lot to do with my ability to succeed.....a lot of this stuff is an internal battle...Speaking of internal battles, I went to Sam's Club today, and I sampled some pesto (which I had never had, and it was good) however there is some Parmesan cheese in it, and pine nuts, so I kind of cheated today, but that is where the jusitfication came into play, I had never had the opportunity to taste pesto, and I have always been curious if it was something I would like.... so since I knew there were only a couple ingredients not allowed, AND there was no sugar in it, I went ahead and tried it, but only a little taste, and it was very tasty, I am sure I will be making my own from my fresh grown basil this summer, and I had a half inch square of bacon (I know, I know :( I shouldn't have) but I was busy justifying today, and thinking about stopping early....I don't believe that those tiny tastes have sabotaged my cleanse, but it is the thought process that could sabotage my goals.....so, if we are going to be technical, I didn't follow the rules today, and I know that I should have stayed strong, but I wasn't even planning on going to Sam's Club today, but had to stop in because my tire was making a horrible vibration, and I had to have them look at it....*sigh* So, I hadn't taken the time I usually do, to prepare myself for the temptation.....but those are the only 2 things I ate, and honestly they would have both fit into a teaspoon.....I feel like I am digressing here....ha ha.....to sum up, I didn't have a triumphant day, but I did keep a close eye on my desires....AND......I am not going to let a little slip up de-rail me....I am going to stay with this thing, and I am not going to get discouraged.....I am human, and sometimes I will not make good choices.....it is important to keep perspective.....this is about a LIFE change, not a DAY change, or a 3 WEEK change.....there are a lot of days in my life, and I can't expect every moment to be perfection, because I am not perfect....but I will keep trying to make more and more good choices and fewer and fewer bad choices :) Hope you have a great weekend....I will be walking in the MS walk with my family on Saturday....What will you do that is healthy and active this weekend???

Even though I am at the point of counting down the days till I can have my COFFEE, I am so glad that I have done this cleanse, and even more grateful that my husband encouraged me to start this blog....for me, it has been a real eye-opener ....writing my thoughts and feelings, and knowing I have to be accountable to my dear friends has really kept me on track and helped me to see things about myself, that maybe I didn't want to see, but seeing the flaws in my resolve and my way of thinking has helped me learn how to improve my life, by not just accepting the things I think I cannot change.....there are a lot of things that we DO have to accept and that we cannot change, but how we view our world and what we do about our resolve and our will power is something that CAN be changed....you don't have to accept the American diet that is filled with unhealthy choices, you don't have to feel tired and run down, or feel out of breath when performing everyday tasks.....I have made that decision in my life and each of you have helped me get there, I will NOT be turning back, I am going to see this thing through to the end :) I have decided many times before that I am tired of living my life the way I do, but I have allowed "things" to become my excuse for not changing.....I am not going to dwell on the the failures in the past, because none of those previous attempts are FAILURES....they are learning experiences.....with each and every one, I have learned more about myself, I have learned things that don't work for me, and I have learned more about what makes a healthy lifestyle, I am so happy that I get to take all of you on my journey with me :) I have been struggling to stick with my cleanse.....each day I grow tired of eating chicken and fish....I am already trying to think of things I am going to make next week to eat....On Monday night, I will be cooking Pot Roast.....I am going to bring healthier choices to each and every meal I eat......I am even struggling with eating that Peanut Butter Egg on Monday.....in my mind I want it, I feel that I might not enjoy it, but I am also afraid that I WILL enjoy it, and that it will be really hard to stop....so I have decided that I am going to just take one bite, and if it doesn't hit the spot, then I will just throw away the rest, and if it tastes better than anything I have ever eaten, then I am thinking I might just throw that away, too....cause I don't want ANY piece of food controlling me.....I am in charge from now on, and I can't be lead around by my impulses......I think that for me, this has been the biggest revelation so far......it is not about what you eat as much as it is what that food represents, and how there is NOTHING that I can put into my body that will make me feel better than being able to be the best mom and wife for years to come because I took care of the body that God gave me, and treating my body with the respect I deserve :) I am gonna be a different person by this time next year, I am gonna conquer my struggles with will-power.....I am gonna be someone that my children can look up to and they will have better lives because of the healthy decisions that I am making.......on a side note, I have struggled since my kids started eating solid foods to get them to eat fruits and veggies.....they didn't mind baby food, but once I tried to get them to eat raw fruit and veggies....ugh, it has been hard work, but NEVER have I said, oh, they don't like carrots, or apples or whatever....I just keep offering it to them.....the other day, Caroline was walking around outside, with a bag of baby carrots, eating them like they were pretzels (I felt like SUPERMOM that day).....then today, I was cutting up a Cantaloupe and Josiah came up and asked me what it was, and I told him and asked him if he wanted a bite, he said yes, and I cut a small piece for him, he then kept asking me for another bite....I was tickled, he never asks for healthy food, he is the carb king....ha ha.....he wants fries, and bread, and his all time favorite is Peanut Butter and Honey sandwiches (I don't give my kids jelly, cause it is too high in sugar, and Honey has excellent health benefits for allergies and such)....so for my boy to want to eat fruit was GREAT....I am still waiting for him to like veggies....Caroline is almost 5 and she is just now starting to show interest in veggies....but whether they eat all of their fruits and veggies, I ALWAYS put some on their plate, and they have to at least take a taste of them....I have also noticed that since I have been eating more fruit and veggies they have been more interested in trying what I am eating....so if your a parent I encourage you to get more fruit and veggies on your kids plates, even if they don't eat them, they need to see that it is a normal part of a meal....it will click eventually....I have 4 days left on my cleanse, and I have lost 10 lbs....I also ordered the Slim Coach tonight, so hopefully by the time I start my new eating plan on Tues, I will be able to really track my calories burnt so I will know if I am on the right track with my exercise :)

There are a couple things I want to talk about today, first.....I did 15 minutes worth of a "Zumba-like" workout in my living room.....Thanks to my good friend, Sherri who told me about the workout videos on Netflix....It was fun and easy to follow, in just 15 minutes I had sweat on my forehead :) I should have done the entire workout, but I will try to do more tomorrow night, but at least I did something, and I still have laundry to fold, and the kitchen to clean so more calories to burn there :) I have been overjoyed by all the feedback I have been getting from friends, some have posted recipe ideas on my facebook, and others have told me about healthy changes they are making in their life.....I feel like the combined strength of what we are trying to accomplish is the fuel that keeps me motivated to keep going :)......Now, to tell you about a purchase I am thinking about making....I have been looking into getting the "Biggest Loser Slim Coach".....from all the reviews it looks like the perfect tool for me to help me track my "actual" caloric burn, and help me to know when my heart rate it in the zone for health and fitness :) If I get it, I will let you all know how well it is working, and if it is as good a motivator as I am thinking it will be for me :).....Now, let's talk about cheating.....such an ugly word, but is it really the right word??? We are not talking about a eating plan that your married to.....if you choose to eat something that is not going to push you towards you goal is it CHEATING??? I don't believe it is....and let me tell you why, that word has just as much of a negative connotation as the word "diet" has....I don't know if you have noticed, but I rarely use the word diet in conjunction with my decisions or my routine....truthfully a diet is what you eat, regardless of what that is....the food that you put in your body IS your diet, so if you eat junkfood you have an unhealthy diet, and if you eat fruit and veggies you have a healthy diet....but regardless of what you eat or whether your making conscious choices or just eating whatever is close and easy....you are on a DIET.....so, you can't cheat on something that your ALWAYS on......I told my husband today that when Monday comes around I am going to have a coffee, and I am going to eat ONE of my kids Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs (snack size).....his response was so encouraging....he said that because I have stuck to my diet so fiercely that he knows when I say I will have one, that is what I mean....I really think it is gonna disappoint me, it probably won't taste as good as it does in my memory, but never-the-less I am going to give it a shot because I need to and honestly, I am not going to stick to any required eating on Monday, I am taking the day off, and then I will start my low-carb eating plan on Tuesday.....so, I ask you....will I be cheating on Monday??? My thought is this....if in your mind you see eating something not on the plan as cheating, it may cause you to be discouraged and feel like a failure, but all the decisions are in your hands.....if you want to eat something, then eat it, but make a plan for it, don't be impulsive.....I would say being impulsive is a greater sabotage to eating right than cheating is.....if you plan for it, you have time to think about it, you have time to decide if it is worth it, but if you wait to decide until you have a fork full of cake in your hand, then you are letting your habits make the choice for you.....you have to be in charge, but that doesn't mean you have to be a warden of your own personal prison, but it can't be spring break everyday either....find that balance, and plan at least a day in advance if you going to eat something that you know isn't good for your overall weight loss goals.....for me, if I make an impulsive choice for breakfast or lunch, I just toss the rest of the day down the drain, I say to myself, "I have already messed up today, so what is the point?"  The truth is, the day isn't ruined if you are eating something you planned to eat....if your going to a wedding, and you know there will be cake and cake is your weakness, then make a plan to have a 1" by 2" slice, maybe scrape some or all of the frosting off and don't drink the punch....then you leave the wedding feeling IN CONTROL instead of like a cheating failure....in my mind, I am my own worst enemy to success, but through this last year, I have had to learn how to take charge of my mind and take control of my feelings, I wouldn't hope for any of you to have to learn these things the way that I have, but after losing my daughter, I feel a very strong desire to take the things I have experienced and turn them into something positive...something I can learn from and something I can harness for strength, instead of just letting my heart and mind defeat me.....I think regardless of your own life and personal trials, we each have times where we let our own insecurities, pain, or fear defeat us.....I made the choice to no longer be defeated, I WILL CONQUER the negative things that I hear in my mind....I have to!!!!

Again, I will try to recap, since I tend to ramble, just so you don't get lost.....find new ways at home to include more activity, also I am looking into a fitness tracking system....and, time to think about what those negative words and feelings inside are doing to sabotage our fitness goals.....Good luck this week!!! Have a great middle of the week :)

This morning, my kids and husband slept in....this is a VERY rare occurrence....We let the kids stay up till 9 so that they could play in their tent after dark with a "Light It Up Blue (Autism Awareness) Lantern"....Even though they were all sleeping, I got up at 7:30am and got my breakfast "shake" and went to the gym to work out.....I did 2 hours of water aerobics and I felt great.....this is a great example of conquering your excuses one-by-one.....I told myself last night that IF I woke up in time to go, that I would go....well, I did wake up in time, so I had to stick to what I said......I have really surprised myself at keeping up with this cleanse, and actively pursuing a healthy life, but I don't think anyone is more surprised than my husband.....he told me today, that if he had been asked, he would not have thought I would have had such a great amount of will power, and truly until this month, I really didn't.....I have had many things happen over the course of my life that I might not have thought I could make it through, but this year I was just hit with one thing after another that in my mind I didn't think I could make it, but here I stand.....still going strong, but only by the Grace of God, He not only lifts me up everyday, and holds me and gives me the strength and comfort that I need, but He has also put me in the life I have, surrounded by a loving husband  and the support of friends and family that only want what is best for me.....I would like you to ask yourself, "If I think it is hard to get up and go to the gym, or eat right....how much harder would it be to do those things with a serious health condition that was brought on by an unhealthy lifestyle?"  I have seen many examples of people making excuses for what they CAN'T do, only to have a trial come, and they look back and see that what they thought was impossible, wasn't as impossible as they thought.....If you want to stick to your goals, you need to ask a few questions, and you need to give the RIGHT answers.....FIRST: Who am I doing this for?.......I have heard for years that if you want to make a healthy change you have to do it for YOURSELF....but for me that is not the RIGHT answer.....for me, I have to do it for others, I hate feeling selfish, and often times I even feel selfish for crying, that is just part of who I am, and I had to get to the place where I knew myself well enough to know what the motivation needed to be.....I need to do this for my family, and for each person who is inspired to get healthier for their families.....I don't want to miss my kid's childhood because I was too tired to live it with them.....think about the important people in your life, or maybe things that you want to accomplish in life, and see for yourself that a healthier life is the only way you can be THAT person....the person that lives their dreams, and is there to help others realize their dreams also.....SECOND: You need to have a plan.....life doesn't always happen the way you would like it to, so you need to plan for the unexpected.....like church potlucks, or dinner at the in-laws.....you need to make sure the the people surrounding you, know how serious you are, but you also don't want them to feel awkward....so, how do you accomplish this?.....I had a church dinner, that I needed to attend, and I signed up to bring veggies....I brought more than I knew would be required, and they were prepared in a way that I could eat them, so I just loaded up on my own veggies.....You need to make a list, either mental or physical that helps you decide what you will do in each situation to still accomplish your goals....I mentioned earlier the comparison between choosing to eat right or eating right because you have an allergy.....no one is ever offended or tries to push dairy on a person who is lactose intolerant, or gluten filled food onto someone who has a gluten sensitivity, however people who have a weight problem, or a problem eating healthy will often push their convictions to the side in order to make everyone comfortable.....which honestly, if you can just push it to the side, then it isn't a conviction, it is an impulse or a whim....if your serious about making changes, you need to make sure that you are capable and proud to make that stand regardless of who is around.....we missed Easter dinner with all our family, because I just didn't want to go through the hassle of bringing food and eating different than everyone else, I didn't want to be around the temptation.....that is a choice I made, and not one single family member made me feel bad, or like I was abandoning them, they have shown full support, that is proof that you can make the call and do what is best for your success, and the people that love you will support you, and those who don't support you, it may not be because they don't love you, they may be dealing with their own personal convictions, and feel that if they can help you slide, then they are justified in not making positive changes in their own lives.....in summary, you need to have a who and how to be a success in your new lifestyle, and you need to be strong, and stick to your decision, don't let anyone be the reason you stray....the strength it takes you to stand with be the motivation and inspiration that others need to see so that they too can stand :) Sorry I am so wordy tonight, I think I get more wordy as it gets later in the day....have a good night, or morning if your reading my blog tomorrow morning :)

Today, marks the end of week 2 of my 3 week cleanse.....YAY!!! Two-thirds of the way done.....this may be the longest I have ever stuck with a diet without cheating.....thanks for your support.....it is truly a daily struggle, now that Easter is here, my kids came home from church loaded up with candy, and not just cheap kid candy, I mean the GOOD STUFF, like chocolate things, and miniature candy bar stuff.....I haven't eaten any, but every time I go in the kitchen I think about that bag of candy.....some people would say, just throw it out or let the kids eat it all and be done with it, but that really doesn't solve my will power problems......No, I will not get rid of their candy, and I am not going to make any promises about not eating ONE piece after I am done with my cleanse, but I intend to see this cleanse through to the end, I am going to stick with it :) I am fairly certain that I am going to find candy to be too sweet and not very enjoyable when I try it, but still, I feel that enjoying a little bite of chocolate is not bad, it is learning to have the will power to stop at just one....that will be part of my new challenges in the future, but for today......I have lost 10 lbs in the last 2 weeks, and I have lost 1 1/2" in my waist, hips and thighs......If I keep sticking to my goals, then I will be reaching my overall goals for a slimmer, healthier me :)  I am so grateful for all the support that I have gotten from my readers.....I saw a friend at church today, and she told me that she had been inspired to do a 3 day cleanse, I encouraged her to try to do 7 days....since I haven't really talked about it, I will tell you what I told her, and I will also add one piece of info that I forgot to tell her.....

• Make sure you have lots of fresh or frozen fruits and veggies on hand (no corn, peas, or potatoes or other starchy veggies)
• Do not cut out oils, just use healthy ones, like Olive Oil, Coconut Oil, Flaxseed Oil, or Grapeseed Oil (These can be added to veggies, or you can put a Tablespoon of Flaxseed Oil in your smoothies, it adds a nutty flavor and the oil will help you feel satisfied for longer)
• Drink LOTS of water!!!!!!! (at least eight 8 oz glasses, but more than that if you can)
• Cut out all other drinks, other than brewed green tea....no coffee, pop, or alcohol
• It is easier to start a cleanse if you cut out some of the no no's before you start, maybe a few days before you start, cut out your coffee or cut back to half as much as you usually drink, if you eat lots of sugary things, try cutting back as much as possible the week before, this will make the transition into a cleanse a little easier, cause it won't be as hard on your body :)
• Take fish oil 2000mg a day, and make sure your taking a multi-vitamin and fiber :) 

Now, I want to be clear that I am NOT a health care professional, and this is only my advice based on my own research, I encourage you to speak to a chiropractor, or possibly your doctor before starting a cleanse, but the point is to go back to the basics and not feed yourself a bunch of chemicals or sugars, or things that are hard to digest like dairy or meat.....it is not a lifestyle as much as a reboot......I hope this has helped point you in the right direction :) 

I have learned something very valuable in the last two weeks, I have learned that it is ok to feel hungry.....there have been many times that I have felt like I wanted to eat something, but I knew I didn't need it, so I just lived with feeling hungry....I am certainly not going to waste away, and often times that feeling of hunger is just your bodies way of asking for more water, or it is a little rebellion, you body knows that if you think your hungry, you will give in and give your body the sugars and unhealthy foods that it is craving.....sometimes our body can be very tricky like that......Anyway, I hope you all had a very blessed Easter, and that your focus was on the Reason for this Day.....the undying love of our Beloved Lord :)

Today was a really rough day.....I went to the store to get milk and eggs, and I thought of possibly a billion different snacks and foods that I wanted to buy, I thought of ways that I could eat them on the way home, and then I had to figure out how I could explain why I had thrown away 2 weeks worth of hard work and dedication for the taste of something that I probably wouldn't even enjoy.....I am sure the first bite of a Reese's Peanut Butter cup would have tasted AWESOME, however, I don't think I would have been able to eat the whole thing :( So, I decided not to buy anything....I didn't cheat, but it was VERY hard.....it took an enormous amount of will power, and self-control.....I am not saying I am very good at this, but I am trying to make changes to my character, and I am trying to have self-control, it is a daily struggle, but I made it through another day.....I only have 8 more days on the cleanse, and then the real challenge will begin....Once I am able to make my own choices for what I eat, I know it will be even harder to behave my self and continue to have good self-control.....I really am grateful to my blog, and my wonderful friends who read it, because it was you guys who helped me with my will power today, it was you guys who I was thinking of when I chose to stick to my cleanse today.....Thank You!!! I don't know if eating right will ever get any easier, it will most likely be a daily struggle for the rest of my life, but I can't think about that....I can only think about today, I can only make the best choices for TODAY, and I am confidant that TODAY, I did just that :)

I had a busy day, and I think that is one of the reasons why it was such a hard one to make it through....I know if I plan better as far as meal prep and eating on time, then I would probably not have had as much temptation today, but even though it was hard, I know it was my fault so I will be more prepared next time :)  Have a good evening, and remember it is easier to stick to your goals if you just focus on doing your best TODAY :)

Hope everyone had a GREAT Good Friday :) I made a personal discovery while at Sam's Club today.....it is the GREATEST place to go if your trying to stay on track with your new resolve to live a healthier life....first, I didn't cheat while there, I sampled some delicious oranges, and passed on all the rest, but if I wasn't doing my cleanse, I would have tried every sample, and let me tell you why.....All you get is one tiny taste, but they had cheesecake and hashbrowns, even regular cake, but all you get is a little taste, you don't end up with a whole cake or something else bad in your car, that makes its way into your house, but you still get to have a guilt-free nibble and satisfy some of those cravings :) I know I have been telling you about my experiences, but so far it has been pretty boring, cause I am still eating only foods that are on my cleanse, but Josh on the other hand had quite a revelation today....he was hungry and not really feeling like making something to eat, so he decided to just eat some Ramen Noodles (SO UNHEALTHY), anyway he said he was only about halfway finished with it, when he started getting really tired feeling, by the end of his meal, he said he couldn't even keep his eyes open to read....he knew he was tired from the noodles, so he drank a bottle of water, and ate some cantaloupe, mowed the lawn and drank another water, and started feeling more like himself.....he said he has never realized before how much food has an affect on how you feel.....I would encourage you to try to eat only fruits and veggies, and fish and chicken for even just a week, and then try going back to your old eating habits.....it will only take one meal to realize how bad those things are making you feel.....I am past the halfway point and in just a couple days I will only have a week left....YAY!!!  I think I am going to try to keep my new habits that I have been learning, but I am already planning of having a coffee first thing Monday morning after my cleanse is over......but I am NOT going to be eating sugary stuff, I am kinda worried that I won't enjoy any food other than fruits and veggies....although that is a good thing, because it will be easier to stick with my new choices if the old ones no longer appeal to me :) If you decide to try a cleanse, I would love to hear from you....I would love to hear any feedback to the healthy lifestyle changes you are beginning to make :) Have a Great Weekend :)

Alright, I know it is past midnight, so technically I didn't write a post on the 5th, but I am still awake, so to me it is still the same day :) I am late getting my blog in, because a very dear friend came to visit me this evening, and we spent several hours catching up.....so, I really don't feel bad at all about not getting to my blog until just now.... :) Which brings me to my thoughts for the day, do I stress out over things that really aren't a big deal, do I put unnecessary pressure on myself??? I think that we are all guilty of that from time to time, but honestly in the grand scheme of things, most of the things we stress over are really not that big of a deal :) When we went through 2 1/2 months of living our lives with a sick baby that needed so much attention, and time.....I had to prioritize my life, and I had to eliminate many ideas and notions that were no longer a possibility....One thing that my sweet Kyndall taught me during her short life is exactly that.....life IS short, even if you live to be 100, you will still think life is short, think about the things that clutter your thoughts, and keep you from living life to the fullest, how many things are weighing you down, and affecting your overall health???  I have been going through a de-cluttering process in my life for the last 8 months or so, and I have a healthier outlook on what REALLY is a need, and what is just being neurotic.......I don't know about you, but I really do tend to get uptight about little things that don't seem to be important, but in my mind they seem to be SO important, but then I look back and realize that I stressed myself out over something that won't matter in a month, or even a day :)

So, I have been on this cleanse for 11 days today, and I have lost 8 lbs :) Also, I got to start eating meat today, and I had a piece of cod for lunch and asparagus, and a half a sweet potato, then for dinner I had a piece of Salmon, and 1/2 cup of brown rice, and a zucchini....both meals were delish!!!! I really am going to try to do more shopping at the farmers market this year, and we are growing beets in the garden box that my friend gave me, and Josh wants to grow some cantaloupe, and some zucchini....we don't have big garden dreams :) I am looking forward to a wonderful weekend where we can focus on the wonderful sacrifice that Christ did for us, hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and remember when your having family get togethers this weekend, that you can eat right even during special occasions, it just requires a little bit of planning ahead, and A LOT of self-control :)

You never realize how social eating is, until your in a room full of teenagers and they are ALL eating pizza and you are NOT :( I didn't have time to make dinner before church, and we took the kids by the mall and let them have mexican, and Josh ate pizza, but I sat and smelled Potato Oles, and didn't eat any, then I picked up the pizza (smelling it the whole way to church) and then sat and smelled Papa John's Pizza and DIDN'T EAT ANY!!!! I did ALL this while my stomach was growling at me, I was hungry, but I still triumphed!!! I have never been so tempted and not given in.....I am telling you right now, if it weren't for this blog, and knowing that I was going to have to fess up if I cheated, I would have eaten a piece of pizza (would it have been awful if I had eaten just one piece???  NO!!!!) It really is ok to eat something like pizza or a burger, but not very often...the problem is, if I had eaten it tonight, it would have been because I gave in, food would have won....if I wasn't cleansing, and I planned a meal out where pizza would be involved, then it wouldn't be an impulsive choice....I am proud of myself because I didn't give in to my desire.....So, if your keeping score....I kicked foods booty tonight :) Now, I will tell you how I felt tonight.....I felt alone, and kinda like an outcast.....I know that no one thought anything negative about me, but just sitting there, not eating when everyone else was :( It wasn't just the food that I wanted, I think that eating what everyone else is eating has something to do with our desire to fit in, and be a part of something.....Sometimes we eat something that we know we shouldn't and our excuse is that we don't want to offend the person who made it, by not eating it.....but if you were allergic to peanuts, you wouldn't eat even one peanut so that someone wouldn't be offended.....if you are a recovering alcoholic, you wouldn't drink just one drink, so that you would feel like you fit in with those around you, but with food, we justify, and we lean on it like a crutch.....if you are open with your friends and family, and tell them that your trying to make healthier choices, so that you can be around longer, and (this is most important) stand by your convictions, and don't let them talk you into just one bite, then they will begin to respect your decision.....just imagine that all food that is bad for you, is a food that you are allergic to, and that you must stay away from it because of the adverse reaction that you have from it....It is about changing you view on food, and helping to educate the ones you love :)

Lets talk about food :) I discovered something AMAZING today :) I went to TJ Max and stumbled upon their imported food aisle, I have been in it a million times (total exaggeration), but I am usually looking at the kitchen gadgets on the opposite side of the aisle....they had all different kinds of oil, including avocado oil, and grapeseed oil.....and.....wait for it.....they had olive oil that was infused with black truffle oil!!!! This big bottle was only $6.99.....I just discovered Truffle Oil this last weekend in Kansas City, I had one tiny little taste and I was TOTALLY hooked!!!! But the stuff I tried over the weekend was more expensive, and since you only need a little I got the stuff today, and I have had a little drizzle on my veggies for lunch and dinner....and I put a little in my avocado dip that I made for my snack of carrots.....also, I found these great little oil spritzers that had good oil in it mixed with other flavors, like garlic, or sesame seeds :) I think it will be a nice way to add some flavor to the MEAT that I get to start eating tomorrow :) Anyway, I encourage you to go to TJ Max and discover some new flavors for cheap, and don't forget to read labels, some things are not always what they appear to be.....I hope your planning on attending church this Sunday to celebrate the Resurrection of Christ :) Have a wonderful end to this beautiful week :) I am gonna finish eating my dinner :)

Today, is day 9 of my 21 day cleanse.......I am feeling great, but I was hungry at the grocery store, and I found myself day dreaming about a cheeseburger (apparently my weakness, I often wish for a cheeseburger), but after thinking about how good it would taste, and that maybe I could just pick one up on the way home and eat it....I began thinking that one bite would taste good, but I felt like anything more than that would be too greasy, and heavy.....So, I think that might be a step in the right direction of having a healthy outlook on food and eating :) I went this morning to vote, and decided to walk with the kids down to the voting place, it was 9 blocks each way, and I am really glad I made that conscious choice to do it :) The kids had a great time, too....for me, it is not just about getting this extra weight off, and making healthy choices, I really want to teach my children to make good choices, too....and I want them to find being active to be fun :)  I have a MAJOR responsibility to train my children in the way that is right, and I feel that idea can be extended far past spiritual things, there are many things in life where I need to teach my children the way that is right :) I owe it to my family to provide a healthy environment for them to grow, stay healthy and strong in mind, body and soul :)

I have had a very active day, besides the walk to go vote, we also went to my friends garden and picked up more plants for the yard, and rushed back home to plant them before it rained, we got most of them planted, but I still have some more to do tomorrow :) Then I went to the mall to do my last weigh in for Pound Plunge, and even though I can't remember what my starting weight was, I am pretty sure I have lost around 15 lbs since I started in Jan....I weighed myself this morning, and I am down another pound, so that is 6 pounds in the first week on this cleanse :) Anyway, I came back home and put some veggies on the grill, and I am about to go make my "shake" and then head to bed :) Just a recap....stay strong, and something to think about and remember, if you have a healthy outlook about health and body image, your making an impact on how your children view themselves, also, try to think about how the life that you live TODAY and changes that you can make TODAY, will affect your children and their future.....even if you don't have children, you are still a role model to someone, make each day a great example of how life should be lived :) Have a blessed Day :)

It is official, I am over a week into my cleanse......I have more energy, I am not feeling sluggish and tired all the time, and even though Josh and I just talked today about how each of us is feeling (he has been a VERY supportive husband and adopted many of my new eating habits) he said that he is not tired all the time, and feeling better.....I encouraged him to have some chinese last night cause I know how much he likes it, and he told me this morning, that he was kind of saddened by the fact that he didn't enjoy his General TSO as much as he usually does, he said it just seemed heavy and unpleasant.....Josh is NOT doing the cleanse, he is just eating more veggies and has had less meat, but he is still eating meat, he is drinking coffee with coffeemate creamer in it, and he has even had some fried chicken and a cheeseburger this week, so he hasn't been nearly as strict as I have been, and he is feeling a lot of the same effects :) This is a perfect example of how even making small changes can make a big difference.....I was looking in my little purification program guide, and remembered that I can have lentils, so I am going to eat some of those with my veggies tonight (we will see how that goes....I am not a fan of lentils)....Also, I don't know if any of you watched the link that I posted about sugar, on facebook, it is about 14 minutes long, but VERY compelling.....I know there is a myth about eating a low fat meal, and that will help you lose weight and live longer, but a lot of fat-free stuff has added sugar to make it taste, well....better, turns out that has only increased our problems with heart disease and many other health related problems.....they are finding a significant link between sugar and lots of bad stuff, and that calories FROM sugar seem to carry more weight (pardon the pun) than other calories do.....I guess they are not just empty calories, they are toxic, poisonous calories.....anyway, I have been on the lower-your-sugar band wagon for some time, but this only strengthens my resolve.....I encourage you to look on the labels on some of your kitchen staples, like spaghetti sauce, or ketchup and see how many sugar grams are in them, and most of them are from added sugar....there is added sugar in so many things, it would be difficult to eliminate all of it, but I can certainly eliminate a lot of it just by making conscious choices.....I haven't had ANY added sugar in over a week, and my fasting blood sugar level has gone down by over 50 pts :) Any way, watch the video if you haven't already, it was very informative :) I know it is almost 9 at night, but I am going to go eat my veggies :)  Have a wonderful evening :)

ONE WEEK, ONE WEEK, ONE WEEK!!!!!! I have made it through one week on my cleanse!!!!  Josh doesn't understand how I am making it without cheating, but I think I figured out a trick....I just don't think about what things I would rather eat, but instead focus on what veggies I am gonna eat and how I am gonna prepare them.....I think that is true for most things in life.....so often we waste our energy wishing for what we can't have and try to get everything we think we want, but instead, if we just harness that power and try to make the most of what you already have :) I have just 4 more days till I can add fish to my diet, and I am already thinking about what kind of fish I want, and how I will make it :) I am also changing from the "cleanse" pills to a "green food" pills......and I am really enjoying grilling my veggies :) One of the nice things about this early spring :) I hope you all had as good a weekend as I did :) Burned lots of calories in the yard yesterday, and stayed strong and didn't cheat when I helped with a lunch we had at our church today :) I brought my shake stuff, and I brought green beans prepared the way I can eat them....that way I could have food with everyone else :) Also, wanted to say, I got on My Fitness Pal.com today, and I hadn't weighed in since January, and it turns out, I have lost 15 lbs since January.....I had been so discouraged about how little I have been losing, but I guess I was doing better than I thought.....still.....it will be much better from here on out :)  I am super tired and sore today, so this post will be a short one.....just wanted to leave each of you with a thought....Are we spending more time wanting what we don't have/can't have or are we focusing on being grateful and loving what is right in front of us? Have a great night everyone :)