Thursday, April 12, 2012
It is that time.....time for JUSTIFICATION.......argh!!!! Such an ugly word.....we do it all the time for all different reasons, but when it comes to our health, and what we put in our bodies, we are even WORSE!!!! I have been relentlessly hammering myself mentally with justifications.....this last almost 3 weeks I hear all sorts of "good" reasons for cheating, or quitting.....even justifying that since I am going to be eating other kinds of meat after my cleanse, why not just eat any kind right now??? I talked to Josh today, and I told him that I was thinking about just blowing off the last 2 days of my cleanse, making today effectively the last day.....I told him, "what will 2 days really do one way or the other? It would be nice to have a weekend of frivolity, and taking a break from healthy eating, so that I will be all ready to start my new eating plan on Monday".....he agreed with me and told me that 2 days probably won't make a difference either way, however.....(this is where my hubby gets credit for being smart and annoying all at the same time) he said that the 2 days of cleansing was probably not nearly as important as the 2 days to COMPLETING my cleanse.....HE IS RIGHT :( :( :( (I hate it when that happens)...ha ha.....I am so grateful that God gave me such a thoughtful hubby that knows me so well....I need to see this thing through, not because my body will be so much cleaner on Sunday night compared to tonight, but because I need to have this victory, I NEED to know that I didn't quit or JUSTIFY a reason for changing my resolve......so here I am EATING SALMON....and contemplating what POUND of veggies I am going to eat with it *shrug* I am going to stick with this cleanse to the very end....I won't even stop on Sunday night, I will see it through till Monday morning......I have heard many people say, "I could never give up my coffee, or sugar, or meat".....but the truth is.....YOU CAN!!!! but it won't be without many struggles in your mind, and also with LOTS of self doubt and second guessing, and trying to retreat back to the old habits.....I read an article recently that said that people who go into weight loss with the mental belief that it will be hard, but achievable are more successful than people who assume that the changes will be easy to make and easy to stick with.....they called it being a "realistic optimist".....I kinda like that term, I think that is what I am trying to achieve.....to have a clear understanding of the seriousness, and the difficulty of the task, but still certain that I can overcome the obstacles with a firm resolve :) So, how is it going for you?? Have you back tracked at all? Are you feeling like a failure or a success??? I try to keep in mind that the way I feel about myself has a lot to do with my ability to succeed.....a lot of this stuff is an internal battle...Speaking of internal battles, I went to Sam's Club today, and I sampled some pesto (which I had never had, and it was good) however there is some Parmesan cheese in it, and pine nuts, so I kind of cheated today, but that is where the jusitfication came into play, I had never had the opportunity to taste pesto, and I have always been curious if it was something I would like.... so since I knew there were only a couple ingredients not allowed, AND there was no sugar in it, I went ahead and tried it, but only a little taste, and it was very tasty, I am sure I will be making my own from my fresh grown basil this summer, and I had a half inch square of bacon (I know, I know :( I shouldn't have) but I was busy justifying today, and thinking about stopping early....I don't believe that those tiny tastes have sabotaged my cleanse, but it is the thought process that could sabotage my goals.....so, if we are going to be technical, I didn't follow the rules today, and I know that I should have stayed strong, but I wasn't even planning on going to Sam's Club today, but had to stop in because my tire was making a horrible vibration, and I had to have them look at it....*sigh* So, I hadn't taken the time I usually do, to prepare myself for the temptation.....but those are the only 2 things I ate, and honestly they would have both fit into a teaspoon.....I feel like I am digressing here....ha ha.....to sum up, I didn't have a triumphant day, but I did keep a close eye on my desires....AND......I am not going to let a little slip up de-rail me....I am going to stay with this thing, and I am not going to get discouraged.....I am human, and sometimes I will not make good choices.....it is important to keep perspective.....this is about a LIFE change, not a DAY change, or a 3 WEEK change.....there are a lot of days in my life, and I can't expect every moment to be perfection, because I am not perfect....but I will keep trying to make more and more good choices and fewer and fewer bad choices :) Hope you have a great weekend....I will be walking in the MS walk with my family on Saturday....What will you do that is healthy and active this weekend???